The art …to forgive!
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[The art to be honest] [The art to change other] [The art to be a human being] [The art to live] [The art to love other] You don't have to
take this part personally - unless you feel stung. I If you knew yesterday
what you know to day you didn't do what you did yesterday but then you wouldn't
happen to know what you know to day. The time is a filter
to reduce the infinite possibility of life to only one past. To forgive is to
accept your past and stop want it to be different. All that happened has
actual been done. The only change you
can make in your past is the way to see it. You can never loose
your right to reconciliation with your own reality. It's never too late to
get a happy past. II You have the right to
do what ever you want and all you dare. You have the right to
do nothing. You have the right to
do wrong. You have copyright to
your own life. Responsibility is
that consciousness that every step set a mark. It's never that dark
that you cannot see yourself. Nobody can take one
drop from the ocean without lower the surface. The victim is a
volunteer scapegoat. The scapegoat is a
volunteer victim. It's more popular to
see yourself as a victim of circumstances than it is to see
yourself as a reason to the circumstances. To blame another is
the same as get away from the bill. Sometime you can win
something, which you forget having sowed. Common sense is, only
to sow what you want to win. III The conscience is a
built-up police, who supervise, judge and punish. What is sin and shame
will change by time and place and by whom is
looking. Sinner is only him,
who defied that rules he made for him self. Ordering cannot
create a love, which isn't there. Prohibition cannot
hide a love, which is there. Reality cannot be
managed by warnings and rules. It is no coincidence
that forbidden fruit has such a good taste. IV A temptation is the
desire to choose a short-term advantage before a long-term. Always being
attempted is like making your bread of your sow seed. Never being attempted
is like always to save your bread until it goes mouldy. V Your offence stone
can surround you with a wall - so high that you only can see
a little piece of the sky. You can only be
indignant if you have something I can touch. Freedom is, not to be
confined to anything but the circumstances The surrounding has
few limits for whom who don't confine him
self. If you don't try
closed doors you can be locked in behind an unlocked
room. If you have found
your own freedom you will want others
to find their freedom. VI What is clean in one
house can cause offence in another house. Words, which are
encouraging one can insult another. You can be insult in
others behalf, if you will avoid to think about your own. For the one who
pleases in others fault and weakness life is like a
barefooted dance on roses which still have all
thorns in safe. VII Guilt is, a learned expectation
of punishment. The sinner is
willingly punishing him self because he doesn't
want anyone else to do it. A kind of punish is a
life in eternal fear for punish. Without fear the
guilt would be without power. Apologetic is the
one, who defends him self without accusation. The guilty causes
attention through his try to keep out. The remorseful will
not defends him self because he think that
he deserves it. To be intended for
thanks is the price for a present you didn't afford to
take Everything a human
being will do to you you probably already
have done to them. To be innocence is
the same as being stopped on a forbidden way and hear the
attendant say: You are allowed to go
here! What if you really
had all that guilt you think you have?! VIII A good sinner will
feel guilty in all that, which confirm that conviction that he is a bad
human being. A good human being
has a bad conscience because he thinks
that he isn't good enough. Oversensitive is,
when you regret something you haven't done yet. A bad conscience will
not unburden you. A bad conscience is
the most prevalent illness in our time. An effective pill
against a bad conscience would probably be a sale-success. IX Don't condemn another not even the one who
condemn another. You can think that
intolerance should be forbidden. Critic don't fill up
anybody with joy and gratitude it will only affect
the one who already knows. If you are critical
to another you rarely are
pleased about yourself. It would be hard work
to behead all those who stick out their
head. The counter part
would feel bad if all were in order. Self-reproach is, to
sprinkle salt in your own wound. To forgive your self,
is to pardon yourself without waiting for permission from a
higher place. You forgive another
the same way as you forgive your self. You forgive your self
the same way as you forgive another. Your compassion is,
an echo of your own pain. You have no ability
to see others pain until you are ready
to meet your own. A way to diminish the
suffering of the world is to diminish your
own suffer. X To forgive - but only
in that condition that he will improve is the same as throw
away your garbage without let go the bag. If forgiving demanded
apologizes, it would be impossible to forgive - the incorrigible -
the irreconcilable - and the dead ones. But it is a joy when
your enemy will see his guilt - and ask for
forgiveness - fawn on you - and beg for mercy?! You have to sink deep
before you can step on whom, who is already down. - I forgive you! say the one who still
judge. If you really forgive
you will never go back for judge or punish. Bitterness is an
in-effective retaliation to another. Being wexed is an
effective retaliation to your self. No punish is strong
enough to clean a sinner in others eyes. Retaliation cannot
replace forgiveness. To forgive will spare
you from the trouble of revenge. XI You can pretend forgiveness
to get a breathing space, while you prepare a terrible revenge. You can pretend
forgiveness when you rather should have said an outspoken word. You can mercifully
distribute forgiveness to make other feel guilty. You can believe that
you forgive even if you just deny your own pain. To forgive isn't to
be good or to make a virtue of your missing talent for revenge. Before you forgive
you can have a need to say ouch and a little more. Its' healthier
swallowing arsenic, than swallow annoyance. If you spill milk it
makes you good to cry - for a moment. Remorse is a
concentration in some of that you don't want to see. Forgetfulness is a
concentration in something else. Nothing will die by
silence. You stumble over that
truth you swept under the carpet. XII Perhaps you think
that the one you forgave has to believe, that something which
actual took place never had happen. - But in that case he didn't learn anything at all. Only a few can
understand without forgiving. We live as long as we
learn. It's written that if
someone hit you in your face you should give him
your other cheek. If you give him your
other cheek you can get one more injustice to forgive. Do you really want
anybody to collect glowing coal on his top? It's hard to be
patted by that hand which hit you. Nobody get rid of his
own burden by give it to another. Nobody makes his own
burden relieved by carrying others. And if anybody could
take over your burden you would be a stranger
to yourself and think that you lost something important. Nobody can forgive on
your behalf. Nobody can grow on
your invoice. To forgive depends on
your will to sacrifice your shell of excellence and meet those dark
site inside you, which you hoped you never had. XIII A conflict is a
meeting between two parts who are convinced in the other parts guilt and his own right. And both will say - I would admit my
own fault if only I had some. In any conflict at
least one is wrong and both are right. Irreconcilable are
the one who demands that the other has to be the first one to apologize. You do not like to
forgive an enemy - especially if you
think it is good for him or else he wouldn't
be your enemy. Bitterness combine -
just like love Because nobody can
leave a relationship as long as something is left to forgive. Forgiveness make a
commitment which you wouldn’t have before you already
have it. A reasonable egoist
will forgive another - just for to feel good him self. It is difficult to
forgive the one who has problems to forgive. You rather forgive
the one who proved right. Most difficult it is
to forgive the one you think knew what he did. Agreement is, a kind
of peace in a pious hope on a future reconciliation. Standing in front of
an unforeseen danger former enemy will be combined in a
miraculous speed. Unwillingness to
forgive is like a refusal to let go a warm potato, which burn your hand. We have to learn to
forgive the humanly before we can forgive
the inhumanly. The unforgivable
isn't only the hardest to let go but also the hardest
to bear. XIV To forgive your child
is to understand that the child didn't understood. Have you ever seen
the child in yourself? XV Guilt is that burden you
rather wanted to hide from other and from yourself. You are ready to do
penance if you want to uncover the root for what is hurting. You can reveal so
long that there is nothing left to hide. To forgive is to let
your burden fall to the ground. Mercy isn't to be hit
on your toes. To understand is, to
see that you have nothing to forgive. XVI Reconciliation with
another implies reconciliation with yourself as in a mirror. Nobody catch his aim
by stopping up and argue about the right
route. Nobody win peace by
fight for it. Peace on earth assume
that everybody makes peace with him self. Epilogue. You don't have to
take the truth of the day seriously because to morrow you
can have a new one. The writer thanks all
those who - by their example made him understand
the refinement by forgive his
debtors. |